We at Carnival Cruise Lines: didn't forget that a lot of
entertainers had promised to leave the country if George W.Bush were to
be re-elected President.

With that in mind, we have a Special Offer for those who still want
to keep their promise!

Attention: Would Alec Baldwin, Rosie O'Donnell and her wife, Ed
Asner, Janeane Garafalo, Whoopi Goldberg, Al Franken, Michael Moore and his
personal groomer, Cher and her vocal therapist, Phil Donahue, Rob
Reiner(apparently still a "meathead"), Barbara Streisand (who has a nose
for these outcomes), Jane Fonda, as well as the entire staffs of the LA and
NY
Times and anyone else who made that promise, please dispose of all US assets
and report to Florida for the sailing of the Funship Cruise, "Elation,"
which has been commissioned to take you to your new vacation homes in
Afghanistan.

You may opt to be dropped off in Somalia or Iraq.

The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell Parade in your
honor through Palm Beach, Broward, and Miami-Dade counties prior to your
cruise.

Please pack for an extended stay... at least four more years.

Note: Since you advocate strict gun control, you may not bring any,
but then with Jane Fonda along you won't need any.

Staffing your voyage is Bill Clinton as captain, Al Gore as cruise
director, Grey Davis, Purser Terry Heinz Kerry hopefully will be kept
somewhere below decks away from the media.

Monica Lewinsky as the "Cigar and Cigarette Girl",

Entertainment by the Dixie Chicks and Bruce Springsteen, John Kerry
will be our Life Guard in consideration of his past experience in pulling
people out of the water. (Unless he decides at the last minute not to go)
He is advocating the ellimination of the game "shuffleboard" in favor of
his new game he calls "waffleboard". Be sure to pack your flip flops as you
will need them while playing.

Ted Kennedy will double as Bartender and Director of Emergency
Procedures and as a buoy as required.

Rev. Al Sharpton will provide inspirational services, and
Ex-Congressman Gary Condit as intern coordinator.

If you have any questions about making arrangements for your homes,
friends and loved ones, please direct your comments to Senator Hillary
Clinton. Her village, paid for by the United States, can raise your
children while you're gone, and she can watch over all your money and your
furnishings until you return.

"Bon Voyage!"

Is this a great country or what? It's called freedom of Speech